(singing)
Once there was an evil King
Who hated Christmas
He hated Christmas
He heard of Christ, the king of the Jews
Then ordered all baby boys killed under the age of two
He said, “Why do the people always look right past
They look right past me,
To some “messiah” in Nazareth
What about their king?

The ‘Virgin’ Mary? Oh please!
We all know she’s lying!
The ‘Virgin’ Mary? Oh please!
We all know she’s lying!

Once there was an evil dragon.
Who hated Christmas
He hated Christmas
And when he heard of the First Noel,
He was furious,
Just furious.

He said, “This world’s a sinner’s paradise,
It needs no savior.
Sin has opened up men’s eyes,
To misbehavior.

All it took was telling a few lies
To become the prince of darkness.

Now God has really messed up this time,
He’s done Himself in.
By making Himself a helpless child,
It’s like He’s letting me win.

I’ll devour Him right, right when He is born.
So that Christmas will end
Before it has begun.
And if they want a messiah
Then I’m the closest thing.
If they want a Messiah,
Then I’m the closest thing!”

(speaking)
Even as the Angel and the Shepherd stood gazing
At the Bethlehem star above the fields a’blazing
A shadow on the horizon eclipsed the moon with black
It was a dragon launching towards the star to attack
Streams of red fire flowed from the dragon’s mouth
Shooting fire at the star the dragon tried to blow it out
He tried to make it burn with such excessive heat
That the star burned out prematurely falling in defeat
But upon seeing the dragon, the Angel was quick to react
With sword and shield flying fast
The Angel drove the Dragon back,
But just before the Dragon had fully retreated,
He blew one last flaming breath at the Star
With such force that it receded
Blown off course away from earth
The Star went tumbling out of sight
Satisfied, the Dragon turned away
Back down to earth he turned his flight
Seeing the Star over the stable
Had given the Dragon an awful thrill
For now he knew where to find the baby
Whom this night he meant to kill.
But upon landing before the stable ready to rage and raid,
The Dragon halted in his haste
For the path was blocked by a strange blockade.
Before the stable stood the shepherd
With his sturdy sheep
And although faced by this Dragon,
Their courage they managed to keep.
Hissing in condescension the Dragon breathed inward
Then outward with deadly force he blew
But just in time the Angel flew in between the two,
This time with planted feet, his shield
Again bore the Dragon’s wrath
The Angel parried several blows
As the Dragon wildly attacked
The hideous strength of his tail
And his snapping jaws
And the crushing weight of his iron claws
Scraped and screeched
But never breeched
The Angel’s anointed arms
And through the fight.
All in vain the Dragon strained
While listening to Mary’s labor pains
Then from assailing the Angel,
The dragon retracted.
He wanted to try a different angle
That involved a different tactic.
Until now the Dragon had not spoken
Not since he’d crawled up out of the earth
But seeing the Angel’s shield could not be broken
He thought he might win the fight with words
So with a forked tongue, he spoke them.